Stress Anxiety...So it didn't turn out exactly like you wanted?

Stress Anxiety

"Defeat is not the worst of failures. Not to have tried is the true failure."
- George E. Woodberry -

So it didn't turn out exactly like you wanted?

The challenges you experience, would I be accurate in saying it's very painful but you'll learn a lesson or two here that'll help you!

There's no such thing as a perfect life, everyone, no matter how wonderful their life may seem on the surface has a fair share of challenges, unhappiness, tragedies and problems to deal with.

Dear Friend,

Thank you for your valuable time, you're much appreciated.

The main difference between joy and depression is what you pay attention to because you live in a hectic lifestyle and everyday you're faced with multiple challenges in all areas of life...

In those unconscious (automatic) moment-to-moment thoughts, how does the hidden stress and anxiety cause you to make decisions which effect your attitudes and core beliefs?

How do you handle your daily issues so you don't feel stressed out?

Hey, whats more important is the habit of shifting your focus on what's good in your life...

Let's face it, you're still alive so being grateful for how lucky you are is a blessing because you've the opportunity to solve, get through difficulties to go forward with a positive attitude.

Maybe you didn't realize that over stimulation of your senses can trigger depression and illness?

It's truly interesting to know that stress plays havoc on your immune system in it's ability to effectively fight off illness. Stress has a major impact on the body which can cause you to feel tired with changes in energy levels.

Stress, the emotional state can be related to 'feeling' life is out of control, you're powerless to change your circumstances or that you didn't meet certain goals, expectations or needs, etc...

For example:

You didn't win the stupid argument but you're more experienced now.

The job you've always wanted didn't come your way.

You got turned down so Friday night is down and lonely.

Well at least you've still got tomorrow, there's another chance...plenty of fish in the sea.

There are better jobs...now you can do what you really love.

How do you keep the set-backs and challenges in proper perspective?

How do you control how you perceive challenges, delays, mistakes and motives of other people?

Actually you can shrink them by adjusting "how you look at it."

Hmmm did you notice anything in particular...right away?

If you're focusing on the (negative outcome) you're magnifying your energy and efforts on what you don't want...or on what's wrong draws you deeper into the state of being more stressed and anxious.

It's the inability to let go or deal with stuff that causes stress and the resulting anxiety!

This build of frustration, anger, unhappy, dissappointment, jealousy, confusion and hopelessness which in turn can cause physical symptoms of all kinds including insomnia, stomach problems, body pains, and a host of diseases, etc, etc...you get my drift.

The first step is becoming aware when you're thinking stressful thoughts and shift your focus or attention by keeping things in perspective.

This, as you know, is called the law of (cause and effect.)

Find what you want (cause) and discover what caused it to happen (effect).

This is a two-step process is basically in seeing and doing things differently...so you're taking control and feeling better, calmer, and actually struggling with less resistance on your part.

You've a choice to let go, release and be free of any unconscious habit of holding onto problems
because failure, challenges, set-backs and delays, etc are a normal part of life and they don't have to be over exaggerated.

Keep in mind this process is not necessarily a conscious one, most of the time you're not even aware that you do this as problems keep popping up...

Would you agree...it's easier to shrink something down so you direct your mind and don't worry about negative stuff so much?

You can learn just one simple thought and behavior release skill which can help you to change your perspective for the better, but it takes some practice to keep going full steam ahead...

Personally I can't think of many life skills that are more important. Can you?

Want to feel better?

Want to win more in pressure packed situations?

Want to feel confident, self-assured, at peace?

Want the anger to subside?

Want feelings of hopelessness to diminish?

They won't be "unconscious" (automatic) unless you put your practice experiencing your thoughts moving into spaced repetition.

It's the way your brain needs it to be. Doing this process, you'll begin to feel how you take control of how you feel.

You'll then do what you want yourself to do...

Learning a new skill might be an inconvenience but now that you understand you're doing your best to respond to the changes, when this is done, you'll be back on track living the life you want to live.

Thanks for reading, come back soon.

Stress Anxiety

Stress Anxiety...Who's playing the blaming game?

Stress Anxiety

"People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I do not believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they cannot find them, make them."- George Bernard Shaw-

Hmmm you don't believe me...huh!

That's fine but tell me are you absolutely sure you're not questioning your partners motives or are you just playing the blaming game?

"Do you think it's because of something your subconscious mind is looking for without you actually being totally consciously aware of what is going on?"

I admit it, I'm guilty of not knowing but I've changed...now where have you heard that before?

What causes people or your partner to judge and point the finger at you?

For example:

Money plays such a big part in daily life and cash flow difficulties create so much tension, its now a major reason for couples fighting and the majority of divorces.

Income, job security have eroded, and the added perks that used to come with working for a great company have gone down the drain and steadily declining...this is happening world wide!

In fact, 9 out of 10 family’s have to work two jobs in order to make ends meet. This isn’t a choice, it’s become a necessity.

Naturally, the words that run through your head are: "let's be really honest, who's the winner"?

Dear Friend,

Welcome back. Thanks for your valuable time, I appreciate you.

I don't mean to surprise you but on the other hand, stop for a moment and take a good look around.

Oh yeah, what's that saying: "maybe you've a disorganized house, work place or whatever?"

Well, I'll put it to you...just maybe it's because you've a disorganized mind.

Impossible! Are you spending too much money, time, effort and energy, too?

Yet, all the talk and energy is having little impact on the quality of your life because none of it is focused. Listen, it only takes a few moments to refresh yourself and get mentally organized.

• Are you too stubborn to give up old habits and persist in resisting change?
• Do you feel communication and re-education is way too time consuming?

I hope you don't have to go through the bitterness, hurt and pain of divorce before you realize that learning new skills can be of a great benefit for all of us.

Do yourself a favor and take hold of this power as you literally begin to launch yourself towards any goal you desire.

It's true to say almost everyone has problems because of the stresses and pressures that we all face...day-to-day (personal ups and downs), hey that's part of any culture and environment.

I know this is a very sensitive and important subject to cover...that's why if you don't take time to oragnize your thoughts and life each day, you may often feel like your ship is drifting in rough waters without a rudder.

A few minutes quietly observing, connecting your own mind, calms the rough waters and gives your ship a clear destination.

And that's precisely what your mind wants and needs to do especially in these troubled times.

In fact, you're mostly happy and tranquil when you and your partner are working together with the same goal you can both stay focused on and working together towards.

Believe me, personally you can do this, and your relationship won’t regret it for a moment.

Sometimes you're stronger and you can handle stress more in whatever shape or form it comes, sometimes you're more of a sensitive soul, not as strong emotionally, and you feel vulnerable.

When your relationship hits a snag...it's important to recognize the 'grass-isn't-greener' on the other side. Society suggests it but it isn't all it's cracked up to be, although it's encouraged and allowed to grow like cancer in our culture.

Maybe you'd agree with me this sort of thinking is wrong because it forces couples to give up hope and choices when there's actually still room for growth in their relationship with the promise of changes.

Truth is, when you begin to focus on the inside on what's important to you, your external world begins to almost magically reflect the same way you feel.

Just give yourselves the chance to organize as the two of you embark upon a new adventure.

Unfortunately, most people will let this opportunity slip right through their fingers:

• Maybe you'd prefer to worry and watch carefully?
• Maybe you like wondering yourself silly thinking can I trust this change?
• Maybe this time is it permanent or will it be temporary?
• Maybe you have no idea just how long will the changes last?
• Maybe my partner really wants to make these changes?

Ok they're not flashy or glitzy affirmations but they speak right from the heart and its time to get serious about it...

Let's take a closer look at how to strengthen your relationship before you give up and let it all fall apart:

How do you continue to build a foundation of trust through communication and love?

Firstly you've got to give respect and demand it from each other and always settle differences fairly when arguments arise.

Ignite (or reignite) the spark in your sex life.

Give total support to each other through good and not so good times.

Develop a strong commitment to your partner and find true love is obviously always there, right in front of you if you're not blind to see it?

Here are some practical and simple ways to know if the changes are going to last:

You're aware and begin to notice positive changes which are the complete opposite behaviors.

Shyness or (distancing one especially from people) turns into engagement.

You begin connecting to situations and find yourself surprised saying: "wow this is really nice, I wonder where this came from and why it hasn't happened before?"

Your partner expresses more curiosity about you, about him/herself and others. Nonverbal communication becomes expressive and open.

Your partner listens and observes more closely and accepts what happens in the relationship with more tolerance, much less criticism or without being stone cold defensive.

You feel that somehow there has been shifting gears and inactivity becomes activity. There's a different rhythm or flow in the relationship with a noticeable difference.

You feel less resistance with much less effort, force or tension. Recklessness transforms into thoughtfulness.

You find yourself noticing how differently your partner talks. The emotional tone, attitude, facial expression and choice of spoken words seem different.

Your partner used to say things like: "I promise, I'll try or I'm going to do this or that" are not used in his/her vocabulary anymore.

The negative times, where you felt out of your depth, stuck, helpless and hopeless, are less intense, happen less often and you seem to have more control.

You've found effective ways to move out of those times more quickly.

You're listening to you intuition more. Your gut instincts tells you that this feeling is good and you feel comfortable about the whole situation because a part of you is harmonized and happy inside.

You begin to clap and cheer because you trust that part of you that's more expressive without questioning.

Your partner seems to be less distracted having more of a clear direction and purpose in life.

Your partner seems to be driven more by internal desires, much less reacting to people or external circumstances.

Your partner is motivated and interested in hobbies or finds more enthusiasm for career.

You notice the changes seem to be more consistent and carry over for a longer period of time.

You partner has stopped blaming others, he/she isn't finger pointing the finger or making others responsible for his/her actions.

Your partner has a better handle on responsibly and in creating his/her world.

You feel there is much more co-operation and stability in your life with fewer mood swings.

You seem more consistently on the right path.

More confidence and concertainty is expressed for family, children and close friends.

Moments of effusive crying, tear letting and chest beating are gone. Apologies are past and there is a sense of working right here right now to create what we want down the line.

When your partner talks to you there is good eye contact, no looking down or away in the other direction.

Your partner is taking proactive steps towards self care from all levels, physically, emotionally and spiritually.

Your partner can express what he/she needs and can negotiate with you to get those needs met but at the same time, your personal needs are considered and not being challenged.

You breeze through life by consciously creating a mind that is powerfully organized and you worry much less about what will happen next...

yours truly, johni

Stress Anxiety