Nutrition Vitamin: Harmones and weight gain...what's the connection?

Dear Lifestyler

If an improved diet and extra trips to the gym failto help shed thoseexcess pounds, a growing body of research is shininglight on a new wayto get to a new you: Do nothing.

Do nothing, that is, but sleep.

Asmillions of Americans move through life weary andsleep-deprived,scientists are uncovering more and more evidence thatinsufficientslumber may cause hormonal shifts that boost both hungerand appetite -particularly for fat-laden carb catastrophes likejelly-filled donutsand super-sized fries.

"Weall need to be aware there is a relationship between sleepand obesity,"says J. Catesby Ware, chief of the division of sleepmedicine at EasternVirginia Medical School, and director of the SleepDisorder Center atSentara Norfolk General Hospital in Norfolk, Va.

Wareand his colleagues found signs of this link in a recentlycompletedstudy of more than 1,000 men and women that indicated thosewho reportedsleeping less also weighed more.

Heis now in the midst of new research focusing on anothergroup of 1,000individuals that is quantifying specific daily sleephabits, withpreliminary data reinforcing his previous observation -less sleepequals a bigger belly.

"Thereare a number of research studies that all support thethesis that toolittle sleep leads to weight gain," Ware said. "Howthat happens isstill somewhat unclear, but there are hormonalsecretions that areaffected with sleep loss that apparently affectappetite and eating."

Other researchers are working to unravel the mechanism behind the mystery.

EveVan Cauter, a professor of medicine at the University ofChicago,recently found that when 12 healthy men in their 20s wereinstructed tosleep just four hours a night for two nights straight,they reported anincrease in feelings of hunger by 24 percent.

What'smore, Cauter and her colleagues noted that levels of thehormone leptin,which delivers feelings of satiation to the brain,decreased by 18percent among the men.

Conversely,levels of the hormone ghrelin, which sparks hunger,shot up 28 percent -prompting cravings for candy, cookies and cake.

Dr.Phyllis Zee, a professor of neurology at the NorthwesternUniversityFeinberg School of Medicine, said that while researcherscontinue to bestymied by the exact nature of the sleep-weightconnection, therelationship is undeniable.

"Thiskind of short-term sleep deprivation study supports therelationship wesee in the larger population-based studies, which showsthat if yourestrict sleep, the hormonal and metabolic profiles beginto resemblethose of people who are pre-diabetic, while bringing aboutautonomicchanges that can be related to the development ofcardiovasculardisease," added Zee, director of the Sleep DisordersCenter atNorthwestern Memorial Hospital in Chicago.

Accordingto several polls by the National Sleep Foundation,many Americans of allages barely meet or fail to meet the minimaldaily sleep requirementsmost physicians and researchers recommend.

Inits most recent 2005 survey, the NSF found that more than 70percent ofadults over the age of 18 get less than eight hours of sleepa night onweekdays - and 40 percent get less than seven hours.

A2003 poll found that, on average, American adults between theages of 18and 54 sleep just 6.7 hours a night during the week, andseven hours anight on weekends.

Amongolder adults - those between 55 and 84 - 13 percent sleepless than sixhours a night during the week, while 11 percent have asimilar sleeppattern on weekends.

Againstsuch a national backdrop of sleep deprivation,researchers concur thatthe battle of the bulge may ultimately best bewaged beneath the sheets.

"Betweenseven and eight hours seems to be a fairly magicalnumber for sleepduration," said Zee. "People who report, on average,getting betweenseven and eight hours of sleep are the ones who appearto have thelowest risk" of weight gain.

Wareagreed: "By sleeping more, you gain on all fronts. If youare obese andare trying to lose weight, it's almost a no-brainer."

Thanks Alan Mozes for your valuable contribution, you're much appreciated...

technorati tags:weight, fatloss, gain, hormones, sleep, disorder, appetite

Stress Anxiety...Shrugg Off Stress and Get Energized...Again!

Stress Anxiety

Hey Friend and Lifestyler,

How are you doing, thnaks for reading today's article.

Please let me ask you something interesting...

Do you feel life is like a daily struggle?

Well, I know that doesn't even begin to describe the same ole' grind and battle of declining energy -- the result is it makes everything you do feel slow and dull.

You feel depressed, stressed, worn-out and fatigued...sound familiar?

Why sit there wondering when you can be stunned at what you can do?

You want a breakthrough right?

Drop away fatigue suddenly like a 50-lb backpack and fly high...because there really is a simple no-risk solution I want to show you right now that has a lot to do with your ability to r---x (just fill in the blanks.)

I'm going to entice you to shrug off the stress, hey don't say I don't go the extra mile for you. I'm here to help make your life easier, remember.

Sit back, relax and let your worries melt away...you've got an amazing new choice.
Relaxation is the key.

Relaxation can make your goals easy, think clearer and sharper...as fast as a changing a battery, the same dramatic effect.

The secret is to learn how to fortify your brain and teach your body to relax under maximum stress.

Hmm, naturally you doubt you can start to get things to happen, so fast.

The question is: "What to do and how to do it?"

Believe it or not, it has a lot to do with raising your level of vibration. You know when you're intune, buzzing and flowing with the universe you get past all limitations...

Simply, what that means is not carrying around emotional baggage.

What you do is consciously train your mind and muscles to "let go".

When you can do this you feel positive, confident, raring to go and your energy levels will sky rocket -- the work you once struggled with will become effortless.

You'll find this astonishing secret is true because I already know the more relaxed you are when you do something ,the higher the level of skill.

Firstly as you'll see, you'll want to focus on deep breathing as well as "pumping up" and stretching the muscles all at the same time.

When you've let go of the negative emotions and forces that you've focused on and then allow yourself to flow with worthy, useful thoughts and actions...

When you exercise your mind, muscles and breath all at the same time, you make your journey here on earth a lot easier.

And I can tell you from experience, being able to unwind the knots of frustration from your mind and body is a worthy ideal.

Thanks again for your time and support.

So why not indulge, pursue what you've learned and put it into action with passion and pleasure for your continued success.

Yours truly, johni

Stress Anxiety

Stress Anxiety...Thanks for checking out this valuable list of interesting and relevant links!

Stress Anxiety
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Stress Anxiety

Stress Anxiety...Let go and give yourself something good right away...

Stress Anxiety

"Any man's life will be filled with constant and unexpected encouragement if he makes up his mind to do his level best each day." - Booker T. Washington -

Dear Friend and Lifestyler,

How are you doing...

Thanks for your valuable time and continued support, I'm sincerely interested in seeing you much healthier, happier and successful in life.

What does it mean to be "holding on" to feelings that make you angry, upset and frustrated?

In a nutshell, it means you're welling up your energy and this does not accomplishes anything constructive.

All you're doing is suppressing your talents, holding onto stagnant energy, and draining life giving energy out of your body, producing ill feelings that result in low immunity, zero growth or value to improving your quality of life.

In fact, when you feel upset, you're triggering mico-traumas in your heart and muscles...

You then feel incapable, tired without really doing much...

You waste your whole day feeling depleted, this causes a sense of lack which is degrading and limiting, you're withholding life and throwing your energy out of balance...

You become self-defeating, anxious about your future and experience lack in some form (it maybe lack of health, love, spiritual understanding, or direction in life)

You feel misguided and move further away from the problem/s that you could have solved right away...

It is only as you let go of your littleness that you can expand into the larger flow of life.

Become the master of your own life by letting go of your past...in other words just forget about whatever happened today.

Every night before you go to bed, it's a good healing practice to give back to yourself because you must have strength, wisdom, and substance before you can share these qualities with others...make sense?

Open your mind to recieve and give back to yourself because all progress begins with giving and recieving.

You can do this by letting go of the stresses of the day, so you allow more space for good things.

This is the success principle of self-improvement in action.

Let go of your worry...

Let go of your anger...

Let go of your self-criticism...

Let go of your guilt for mistakes you've made...

Let go of the blame you may be laying on others for making your life more difficult...

Just let it all go...and give your attention to the improvement and development of yourself.

Here's why letting go is such a good idea:

Every so-called negative thing you let go of is transformed to something else at a higher level.

And so, when you're continually letting go of the negatives, you're continually attracting more of the good.

You're continually attracting something better than what you had previously.

One of the best things you can do is to let go, this is to be aware of the feelings in your body.

Be aware of where you feel a sense of tightness or frustration...

Be aware of where you feel stiff and frozen...

Be aware of where your energy centers feel frozen...

Once you notice these energy blockages, imagine them melting.

Imagine them being heated and transformed from ice to water and then from water to boiling water...ultimately into steam.

When you do this you're free and you'll truly know the meaning of letting off some steam.

It might be something big or small, tangible or intangible...

It's infinetly much better to let off steam than to freeze the energy in your body into an iceberg.

Learn to attract what you want without effort because it's far easier than you think.

All that is required is a delibrate setting aside of some time, a willingness to allow all the good things to become part of your daily life.

This places you back on the right path...you detach yourself from the emotional feelings.

And yes, it can be a time for prayer, meditation or inspiration because your life is worth living.

In fact, it's worth living every moment with gusto and enthusiasm.

Thanks again, you're much appreciated, talk to you soon...enjoy and have fun.

Stress Anxiety

Stress Anxiety...What Is Social Anxiety?

Stress Anxiety

Dear Friend,

Some forms of social anxiety is normal and beneficial, it really is a part of human evolution...a universal experience, one that’s necessary for survival.

Yeah, but it is easier to see the survival value in previous times when people had to band together to hunt food, build shelter, and ward off enemies.

Social anxiety served the function of keeping people close together because to veture out on your own increased the chances of being eaten and that's after all the ultimate risk of death.

Even now, we’ve evolved in such a way that we’re motivated to remain a part of the group. We want to be accepted.

We all want to fit in, feel like we're respected, and part of something.

After all, people who never care about others’ opinions are often not very pleasant to be around and have a completely different set of problems.

But what exactly is social anxiety?

It’s the experience of apprehension or worry that arises from the possibility, either real or imagined, that one will be evaluated or judged in some manner by others.

We know, this definition is a mouthful. Perhaps it’s easier to explain what social anxiety is by listing some ordinary, everyday examples:

1: Embarrassment after spilling a drink
2: “Stage fright” before a big performance
3: Awkwardness while talking to someone you don’t know well
4: Nervousness during a job interview
5: Feeling jittery before giving a speech

These are common experiences almost everyone has experienced at one time or another.
Since social anxiety is so universal, how do you know where your reactions fall?

Are they within the range of normal?

In other words, how can you tell when social anxiety becomes social anxiety disorder - a clinical diagnosis?

Recognizing Social Anxiety Disorder, mental health professionals frequently use The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders - Fourth Edition (DSM-IV) to make diagnostic decisions.

While it’s not a perfect system, diagnoses are important for a number of reasons.

Without a name for the problem, research vital to understanding a problem and developing effective treatments for it simply doesn’t take place.

On a practical level, if you try to receive mental health services for a problem that has no diagnosis, you’re not likely to get your health insurance to pay.

Let’s look at the specific criteria that must be met for a clinical diagnosis of social anxiety disorder.

The DSM-IV says an individual with social anxiety disorder will:

1: Show significant and persistent fear of social situations in which embarrassment or rejection may occur
2: Experience immediate anxiety-driven, physical reactions to feared social situations
3: Realize that his or her fears are greatly exaggerated, but feel powerless to do anything about them
4: Often avoid the dreaded social situation - at any cost.
5: Someone may fear just one or a few social situations - public speaking being a common example - in which case the problem is referred to as a specific, or discrete social phobia.

In contrast, generalized social anxiety disorder exists when a person is afraid and avoids many, or most social situations.

Once these basic criteria are met for a diagnosis of social anxiety disorder, the individual symptoms can vary, but they generally fall into three categories:

The cognitive or mental symptoms (what you think); the physical reactions (how your body feels); and the behavioral avoidance (what you do).

Let’s look at these areas in more detail.

The mental anguish:

People with social anxiety disorder are plagued with negative thoughts and doubts about themselves such as:

Do I look okay?
Am I dressed appropriately?
Will I know what to talk about?
Will I sound stupid, or boring?
What if other people don’t like me?
What if people notice I’m nervous?
What if people think I’m too quiet?

The fear of possible rejection or disapproval is foremost in socially anxious people’s minds, and they scan for any signs that confirm their negative expectations.

The pain that such pervasive, negative thinking patterns causes cannot be underestimated. Without appropriate intervention, these kinds of self-deprecating thoughts can lead to many other complications, including low self-esteem and deep feelings of inferiority.

The physical distress:

Many people don’t realize that actual physical discomfort can accompany social anxiety.

For example, someone may experience a panic attack in a social situation, in which they feel an acute and severe rush of fear and anxiety, accompanied by some or all of the following symptoms:

1: shortness of breath
2: tightness or pain in the chest, racing heart
3: tingling or sensations of numbness
4: nausea
5: diarrhea
6: dizziness
7: shaking, and sweating.

Panic attacks usually come on quite quickly, build to a peak in approximately five to 20 minutes, and then subside.

It’s not uncommon to hear people say that their panic attacks last a lot longer; however, it’s probably the after-effects of the attack that they’re feeling, such as residual anxiety and increased alertness to bodily sensations, rather than the panic attack itself.

It’s important to note that many people are misdiagnosed with panic disorder when, in fact, they have social anxiety disorder.

The key to knowing which of the two is the real problem lies in understanding the root fear. In panic disorder, the person fears the panic attack itself and often feels as if he or she is dying during such an episode.

In the case of social anxiety disorder, the fear is centered around the possibility that people might witness the panic attack and the resulting humiliation that would occur.

Keep in mind, though, that some people have both panic disorder and social anxiety disorder.
Not everyone with social anxiety experiences full-blown panic attacks, though.

Instead, some people are extremely bothered by and focused on a particular physical aspect of their condition. The most common examples include blushing, sweating, and shaking.

Regardless of which particular physical symptoms someone experiences, anxiety is never pleasant.

Having one’s body in a state of constant alert takes its toll and can lead to chronic fatigue, muscle tension, and sleep disturbances.

The toll of avoidance:

It’s human nature to avoid pain and suffering. From an evolutionary perspective, we’re “hard-wired” to either fight or flee from a dangerous situation.

It’s no surprise then that people with social anxiety disorder tend to avoid or painfully bear situations that they believe will cause them harm.

This might mean never attending a party or going to a restaurant.

It might mean having few, if any, friends.

It might mean never having an intimate relationship. It might mean dropping out of school or working at a job beneath one’s potential.

The consequences of avoidance will naturally vary depending upon the person and the severity of their anxiety.

In all cases, though, people with social anxiety disorder limit their choices out of fear. Decisions in life are based upon what they’re comfortable with rather than what they might truly want to do.

In addition to the outright avoidance of situations, people with social anxiety disorder may engage in other, more subtle methods of avoidance.

Examples of partial avoidance include using alcohol to cope with anxiety
(drinking before a party in order to be able to go at all) and setting certain parameters on a social situation (only staying at the party a short period of time).

In avoiding threatening situations, you never realize that you actually can manage your anxiety and cope with your fears. In short, avoidance prevents learning.

You’re Not Alone:

Social Anxiety affects millions of people and the most up-to-date information suggests that one in eight Americans will, at some point in his or her life, suffer from social anxiety disorder.

This makes social anxiety disorder the third most common psychiatric disorder, after depression and alcoholism.

Millions of people - from 10 to 19 million depending on the particular survey cited - are affected by social anxiety.

Who are these millions of people?

The millions of people with social anxiety disorder are ordinary people, just like you and me. Included in these millions are not only men and women of all ages, but children and adolescents, as well.

In fact, social anxiety typically shows up before the age of 20, often during the teenage years. However, many people remember being shy and anxious even earlier - as far back as they can remember.

Current research suggests that several problems seen in the elementary grades, such as school phobia (refusing to go to school) and selective mutism (not speaking at school) are actually manifestations of social anxiety disorder.

Because of the early age at which social anxiety can surface, it’s important to work toward increasing awareness and intervening as early as possible.

In addition to the age factor, many people want to know more about whom social anxiety disorder affects. In large studies of the general population, women outnumber men by a ratio of three to two.

When looking at groups of people seeking treatment, however, the gender distribution is nearly equal. Social anxiety disorder appears to cut across racial and ethnic lines, although there may be some variations depending on cultural norms.

Some studies show that people with social anxiety disorder are less likely to be married and also are more likely to have occupational difficulties than others.

These findings make sense when you think about the “normal” anxiety many people feel when they’re dating someone new or going on a job interview.

Throw social anxiety disorder into the mix and you can probably imagine how trying these events can be. Despite these findings, we’ve worked with many individuals who function very well, people whom you’d never suspect had social anxiety.

Still, what matters most is how someone feels on the inside.

When someone is tormented by anxiety, even if it’s not readily apparent to others, it’s a problem worth addressing.

You’re Not Crazy:

Social Anxiety is under-recognized, but it’s real and treatable and another crucial thing to know about having social anxiety disorder is you’re not “crazy.”

You may, however, frequently feel like you’re crazy.

A large part of this feeling comes from the general lack of awareness and understanding people have about social anxiety.

Unfortunately, this lack of awareness and understanding extends to professional circles.

It’s still unusual for healthcare professionals - physicians, psychiatrists, or psychologists - to make a primary diagnosis of social anxiety disorder. It’s frequently misdiagnosed as panic disorder or agoraphobia, or it’s not diagnosed at all.

We have had very few people referred to us who have already been correctly diagnosed, much less been given the appropriate treatment.

In my own case I was never diagnosed with social anxiety.

The mental health professionals I saw focused on my drug addictions, anger, depression and general tendency to worry too much.

In fact, I had never heard mention of social anxiety or social phobia until I began researching for behavioral disorders.

I then learned about social anxiety and began to other people who seemed to fight, perhaps to a more severe degree, the same fears I had.

Many people who expressed so much relief when learning their problem had a name.

As strange as it seems, it was real, and it was treatable.

I trust you got some valuable insights and encouragement from reading today's article. I'd appreciate it if you dropped me a line, post your comment or feedback and I'll get back to you.

Stress Anxiety

Stress Anxiety...So it didn't turn out exactly like you wanted?

Stress Anxiety

"Defeat is not the worst of failures. Not to have tried is the true failure."
- George E. Woodberry -

So it didn't turn out exactly like you wanted?

The challenges you experience, would I be accurate in saying it's very painful but you'll learn a lesson or two here that'll help you!

There's no such thing as a perfect life, everyone, no matter how wonderful their life may seem on the surface has a fair share of challenges, unhappiness, tragedies and problems to deal with.

Dear Friend,

Thank you for your valuable time, you're much appreciated.

The main difference between joy and depression is what you pay attention to because you live in a hectic lifestyle and everyday you're faced with multiple challenges in all areas of life...

In those unconscious (automatic) moment-to-moment thoughts, how does the hidden stress and anxiety cause you to make decisions which effect your attitudes and core beliefs?

How do you handle your daily issues so you don't feel stressed out?

Hey, whats more important is the habit of shifting your focus on what's good in your life...

Let's face it, you're still alive so being grateful for how lucky you are is a blessing because you've the opportunity to solve, get through difficulties to go forward with a positive attitude.

Maybe you didn't realize that over stimulation of your senses can trigger depression and illness?

It's truly interesting to know that stress plays havoc on your immune system in it's ability to effectively fight off illness. Stress has a major impact on the body which can cause you to feel tired with changes in energy levels.

Stress, the emotional state can be related to 'feeling' life is out of control, you're powerless to change your circumstances or that you didn't meet certain goals, expectations or needs, etc...

For example:

You didn't win the stupid argument but you're more experienced now.

The job you've always wanted didn't come your way.

You got turned down so Friday night is down and lonely.

Well at least you've still got tomorrow, there's another chance...plenty of fish in the sea.

There are better jobs...now you can do what you really love.

How do you keep the set-backs and challenges in proper perspective?

How do you control how you perceive challenges, delays, mistakes and motives of other people?

Actually you can shrink them by adjusting "how you look at it."

Hmmm did you notice anything in particular...right away?

If you're focusing on the (negative outcome) you're magnifying your energy and efforts on what you don't want...or on what's wrong draws you deeper into the state of being more stressed and anxious.

It's the inability to let go or deal with stuff that causes stress and the resulting anxiety!

This build of frustration, anger, unhappy, dissappointment, jealousy, confusion and hopelessness which in turn can cause physical symptoms of all kinds including insomnia, stomach problems, body pains, and a host of diseases, etc, etc...you get my drift.

The first step is becoming aware when you're thinking stressful thoughts and shift your focus or attention by keeping things in perspective.

This, as you know, is called the law of (cause and effect.)

Find what you want (cause) and discover what caused it to happen (effect).

This is a two-step process is basically in seeing and doing things differently...so you're taking control and feeling better, calmer, and actually struggling with less resistance on your part.

You've a choice to let go, release and be free of any unconscious habit of holding onto problems
because failure, challenges, set-backs and delays, etc are a normal part of life and they don't have to be over exaggerated.

Keep in mind this process is not necessarily a conscious one, most of the time you're not even aware that you do this as problems keep popping up...

Would you agree...it's easier to shrink something down so you direct your mind and don't worry about negative stuff so much?

You can learn just one simple thought and behavior release skill which can help you to change your perspective for the better, but it takes some practice to keep going full steam ahead...

Personally I can't think of many life skills that are more important. Can you?

Want to feel better?

Want to win more in pressure packed situations?

Want to feel confident, self-assured, at peace?

Want the anger to subside?

Want feelings of hopelessness to diminish?

They won't be "unconscious" (automatic) unless you put your practice experiencing your thoughts moving into spaced repetition.

It's the way your brain needs it to be. Doing this process, you'll begin to feel how you take control of how you feel.

You'll then do what you want yourself to do...

Learning a new skill might be an inconvenience but now that you understand you're doing your best to respond to the changes, when this is done, you'll be back on track living the life you want to live.

Thanks for reading, come back soon.

Stress Anxiety

Stress Anxiety...Who's playing the blaming game?

Stress Anxiety

"People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I do not believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they cannot find them, make them."- George Bernard Shaw-

Hmmm you don't believe me...huh!

That's fine but tell me are you absolutely sure you're not questioning your partners motives or are you just playing the blaming game?

"Do you think it's because of something your subconscious mind is looking for without you actually being totally consciously aware of what is going on?"

I admit it, I'm guilty of not knowing but I've changed...now where have you heard that before?

What causes people or your partner to judge and point the finger at you?

For example:

Money plays such a big part in daily life and cash flow difficulties create so much tension, its now a major reason for couples fighting and the majority of divorces.

Income, job security have eroded, and the added perks that used to come with working for a great company have gone down the drain and steadily declining...this is happening world wide!

In fact, 9 out of 10 family’s have to work two jobs in order to make ends meet. This isn’t a choice, it’s become a necessity.

Naturally, the words that run through your head are: "let's be really honest, who's the winner"?

Dear Friend,

Welcome back. Thanks for your valuable time, I appreciate you.

I don't mean to surprise you but on the other hand, stop for a moment and take a good look around.

Oh yeah, what's that saying: "maybe you've a disorganized house, work place or whatever?"

Well, I'll put it to you...just maybe it's because you've a disorganized mind.

Impossible! Are you spending too much money, time, effort and energy, too?

Yet, all the talk and energy is having little impact on the quality of your life because none of it is focused. Listen, it only takes a few moments to refresh yourself and get mentally organized.

• Are you too stubborn to give up old habits and persist in resisting change?
• Do you feel communication and re-education is way too time consuming?

I hope you don't have to go through the bitterness, hurt and pain of divorce before you realize that learning new skills can be of a great benefit for all of us.

Do yourself a favor and take hold of this power as you literally begin to launch yourself towards any goal you desire.

It's true to say almost everyone has problems because of the stresses and pressures that we all face...day-to-day (personal ups and downs), hey that's part of any culture and environment.

I know this is a very sensitive and important subject to cover...that's why if you don't take time to oragnize your thoughts and life each day, you may often feel like your ship is drifting in rough waters without a rudder.

A few minutes quietly observing, connecting your own mind, calms the rough waters and gives your ship a clear destination.

And that's precisely what your mind wants and needs to do especially in these troubled times.

In fact, you're mostly happy and tranquil when you and your partner are working together with the same goal you can both stay focused on and working together towards.

Believe me, personally you can do this, and your relationship won’t regret it for a moment.

Sometimes you're stronger and you can handle stress more in whatever shape or form it comes, sometimes you're more of a sensitive soul, not as strong emotionally, and you feel vulnerable.

When your relationship hits a snag...it's important to recognize the 'grass-isn't-greener' on the other side. Society suggests it but it isn't all it's cracked up to be, although it's encouraged and allowed to grow like cancer in our culture.

Maybe you'd agree with me this sort of thinking is wrong because it forces couples to give up hope and choices when there's actually still room for growth in their relationship with the promise of changes.

Truth is, when you begin to focus on the inside on what's important to you, your external world begins to almost magically reflect the same way you feel.

Just give yourselves the chance to organize as the two of you embark upon a new adventure.

Unfortunately, most people will let this opportunity slip right through their fingers:

• Maybe you'd prefer to worry and watch carefully?
• Maybe you like wondering yourself silly thinking can I trust this change?
• Maybe this time is it permanent or will it be temporary?
• Maybe you have no idea just how long will the changes last?
• Maybe my partner really wants to make these changes?

Ok they're not flashy or glitzy affirmations but they speak right from the heart and its time to get serious about it...

Let's take a closer look at how to strengthen your relationship before you give up and let it all fall apart:

How do you continue to build a foundation of trust through communication and love?

Firstly you've got to give respect and demand it from each other and always settle differences fairly when arguments arise.

Ignite (or reignite) the spark in your sex life.

Give total support to each other through good and not so good times.

Develop a strong commitment to your partner and find true love is obviously always there, right in front of you if you're not blind to see it?

Here are some practical and simple ways to know if the changes are going to last:

You're aware and begin to notice positive changes which are the complete opposite behaviors.

Shyness or (distancing one especially from people) turns into engagement.

You begin connecting to situations and find yourself surprised saying: "wow this is really nice, I wonder where this came from and why it hasn't happened before?"

Your partner expresses more curiosity about you, about him/herself and others. Nonverbal communication becomes expressive and open.

Your partner listens and observes more closely and accepts what happens in the relationship with more tolerance, much less criticism or without being stone cold defensive.

You feel that somehow there has been shifting gears and inactivity becomes activity. There's a different rhythm or flow in the relationship with a noticeable difference.

You feel less resistance with much less effort, force or tension. Recklessness transforms into thoughtfulness.

You find yourself noticing how differently your partner talks. The emotional tone, attitude, facial expression and choice of spoken words seem different.

Your partner used to say things like: "I promise, I'll try or I'm going to do this or that" are not used in his/her vocabulary anymore.

The negative times, where you felt out of your depth, stuck, helpless and hopeless, are less intense, happen less often and you seem to have more control.

You've found effective ways to move out of those times more quickly.

You're listening to you intuition more. Your gut instincts tells you that this feeling is good and you feel comfortable about the whole situation because a part of you is harmonized and happy inside.

You begin to clap and cheer because you trust that part of you that's more expressive without questioning.

Your partner seems to be less distracted having more of a clear direction and purpose in life.

Your partner seems to be driven more by internal desires, much less reacting to people or external circumstances.

Your partner is motivated and interested in hobbies or finds more enthusiasm for career.

You notice the changes seem to be more consistent and carry over for a longer period of time.

You partner has stopped blaming others, he/she isn't finger pointing the finger or making others responsible for his/her actions.

Your partner has a better handle on responsibly and in creating his/her world.

You feel there is much more co-operation and stability in your life with fewer mood swings.

You seem more consistently on the right path.

More confidence and concertainty is expressed for family, children and close friends.

Moments of effusive crying, tear letting and chest beating are gone. Apologies are past and there is a sense of working right here right now to create what we want down the line.

When your partner talks to you there is good eye contact, no looking down or away in the other direction.

Your partner is taking proactive steps towards self care from all levels, physically, emotionally and spiritually.

Your partner can express what he/she needs and can negotiate with you to get those needs met but at the same time, your personal needs are considered and not being challenged.

You breeze through life by consciously creating a mind that is powerfully organized and you worry much less about what will happen next...

yours truly, johni

Stress Anxiety